until when? until then
posted in Uncategorized |I feel very old. Like I have been there when the empires rose and fell. Like I have experienced much in life when I have neither been a mother nor a lover. But I feel old. Like I could see the result of a kindness and the effect of a smile ten years into the future.
I feel like a stranger. Like no one has really seen me. Like a passing shadow in a busy street. Invisible. Unseen. Unknown.
How long shall I remain feeling old? Like the child within me has taken a back seat and let the weary traveler in me feel the pain in the muscles of her legs. From so much walking. So much traveling. So much searching.
When will I feel the morning sun’s warmth on my face? When will the sea call me home? I know not the answers, yet somehow I do.
Don’t ask me when I’m coming home. It will be soon, and it will be a long time. When I have come back, my absence would seem short. But until I return, it would feel like a long wait. But fear not, since we are promised a thousand years and a thousand years more after that.
When we have come home where we are no longer strangers, we will no longer feel the need to talk about pain, weariness, and struggling. We will talk about happiness, sunshine, and the fruits of all that we have hoped for.
Then I will feel young and renewed. I will feel like I have come home to family where I am known.
So until we meet again, find comfort in the fact that all my roads, long they may be, and all my labors, hard they may be, still lead home. Home to you. Where my heart has always been. And always will be.
May you fare well.
*wkt